Surfing a Tsunami
Page 2

Learning to communicate differently

Over time, your loved one will lose the ability to share the same reality

as you. Accepting this can reduce your frustration and your habit of

correcting them.

Your loved one is losing executive functioning abilities. These include:

insight, judgment, awareness, and abstraction. Language, telling time,

managing money are abstractions. 

Addressing grief, loss, add fear

Notice when you are feeling frustrated and angry. What are the specific instances that aggravate you the most? What is the river of grief and anger that runs underneath these instances?

Be prepared for waves of grief and loss as your loved ones condition changes over time and they lose access to more and more abilities.

You and your loved one will both experience fear. Your fear may intensify when your loved one cannot communicate of what they are afraid.

Staying at home may not be the best

• Revisit regularly the criteria upon which you will consider residential

placement for your loved one. Keep you and your loved one’s safety as

a primary criterion for remaining in the home.

Remember some of the roles you are playing in your loved one’s care:

In residential facilities, multiple staff members assume the roles you are taking on single-handedly.

Emotional security person, Nurse

Care manager


Grocer, Launderer, Cleaner, Entertainer


Bill payer

Family liaison

Spouse/child actual relationship 

Bather, dental hygienist



(Where do you fit in here-your self-care?)

Considering residential facilities

• Listen to the experiences of others

• Make unannounced field trips and interview the staff • Develop a team approach with residential facility

When the Storm Passes

Grieving loss and identity shifts

How will you create your life now?

Free Online Support Groups with The Gloaming at Santa Fe

Email if you want to receive support group reminders, Zoom login instructions, and resources.

Support Group for Caregivers of Loved Ones with Dementia-Alzheimer’s Meets the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of Every Month

9:30 to 11:00am MST

The Next Step ~ Grief & Healing Group for Caregivers of Loved Ones Who Passed from Dementia

Meets the 2nd Wednesday of Every Month

9:30 to 11:00am MST